Grief

Nancy Demary

waitingGrief of soul demonstrates the great value someone has placed upon a person, place or thing.

Anyone who has passed through the dark valley of grief knows what a painful trek it is. Death, divorce or some major loss brings us to this difficult journey. Whether the event was expected or not, it requires diligence to come out on the other side with a healthy sense of acceptance and closure.

Moving God into the center of your world is important during this process. Perhaps He has been a small piece of your pie and grief has brought you to a place of desperation, asking “How will I get through this?” I believe that unless we place God largely in the center of our circle, we will have deleterious ramifications from the loss we’ve suffered.

Sometimes we realize through our grief that we had placed too much hope or…

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Sheer Madness – Losing Our Common Sense Along the Way

Have you lost your mind! was the phrase we heard when I was young in response to someone’s expression of a socially unacceptable thought. That would not be a common response today to anyone who may be thinking quite differently than you. Why? Because our whole culture has turned upside-down and it does feel at times like people have lost their minds. Someone from 50 years ago stepping into our world would think it sheer madness at what is being promoted in society today. What has happened?

Are these terms familiar to you? Intersex, Androgyne, Gender expression, Gender identity, Gender non-conforming, Cross-sexual, Unisexual, Transgender, Bisexual.

Gender Confusion

Abigail Shrier, a well-known American journalist, brought to the forefront through her 2020 book, Irreversible Damage, information about the large number of teenage girls who claim to have gender dysphoria and would like to “transition” to become boys. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the parents of these girls. This, along with the larger sexual circle of confusion as it relates to gender today, makes me think that we have lost our minds. Abigal Shrier speaking on Irreversible Damage

It is sheer madness to think that one can change their gender. Someone can attempt to change their physical bodies to appear like the opposite sex, but that is far different from changing who God created them to be.

Her book may interest you to gain an understanding of how this unusual desire is being propagated in our culture, schools, and universities. Our culture has “canceled” those who oppose these views and if you speak out against these new phenomena, you will be ostracized for it.

Let’s think this through… 

We now have teenagers, and younger, being told they can decide what gender they’d like to be. If they “feel” like they have the wrong body, they now are affirmed in this and are encouraged to choose to change their sex. 

Much like the birthing of the abortion movement, 50 years ago, the same characters are present. A group of people pushing an agenda of my-body-my-right, onto a culture that has lost its moorings concerning common sense. When we see this manifestation of “choice” we see those who will not acknowledge God as our creator. Instead, they shake their fists in His face and tell him, “We will decide”.

Common Sense

Whatever happened to it? Our senses are so important to functioning well. Recently, I had Covid. I’m thankful that I did not lose my sense of taste and smell, but have friends who did and told me about it. When we are missing one of our senses we are off balance and could end up getting burned, or worse. When common sense is skewed by the influences around us, we can accept as normal something that is very aberrant and not realize it, if the crowd keeps heading that way. Many young people are being swept up in this gender confusion simply because they are taught that it is normal. 

Wisdom vs. Foolishness

 In Proverbs 1:7 we are told that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. In Romans, chapter 1, Paul indicates that when someone repeatedly denies God as their creator their foolish heart becomes darkened. If a person persists in this darkened condition, indulging themselves in their foolishness, their mind will at some point become reprobate. If you stand back and think for a moment about what is happening, I believe many have reached this place.

 The only way to recover a mind that is tracking down this slippery slope is to turn to God and allow him to renew the mind. His transformative power gives one the ability to change their mind from foolishness to wisdom. 

A Pandemic of Sinful Thinking

The Foolishness of previous generations has so multiplied that we truly are facing a pandemic of sinful thinking, especially as it pertains to sexuality. It’s not only the younger generation who have lost their way.

I could hardly believe what I was hearing on a popular YouTube channel as this “ministry” couple, about 40 years old, were talking about sex within marriage. (The “parent” ministry of this “child” ministry was someone I had respected for their teaching on marriage). After listening for some time, I realized that they were promoting hedonism under the guise of the marriage covenant. They seem to believe that as long as a Christian is married, there is no shame in the sexual games they play. Using the thought that the marriage bed is undefiled (Hebrews 13:4) and lifting it out of context, they seemed to interpret it to mean anything goes. It was disgraceful to listen to their discussion. With the influence of pornography upon our culture, minds within the “church” have also lost their senses. 

Marriage brings two together as one, body, soul, and spirit. The intimacy of sexual union brings a husband and wife face-to-face, looking into the soul of the other. The hormones God created within our bodies are used for bonding purposes in a sexual context. When the eye gate and powerful hormones are used wrongly they will become the curse that scripture warns about.

If you are a married couple engaging in sexual activity as animals would, try talking to one another and evaluate your physical intimacy in light of scripture. Shame must be named and dealt with before healing comes. Many couples have no idea what sexual habituation to pornography does to the brain. Please educate yourself and be careful not to follow the world’s practices.

So, what can we do to re-establish soundness in the area of sexuality? I believe going back to the original pattern would be wise. First, we need to recognize that God created who we are, our gender, and He desires for us to find our identity in Him. He has designed a man and woman to be fulfilled sexually within the covenant of marriage, without the influence of porn-induced minds. Common sense tells us how He designed us to come together sexually. The confusion in our culture today concerning sexuality will not end. But we must learn how to interact and help those in our culture of madness.

A related resource by Rick Thomas in helping us think through the basics of gender issues is: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-323-should-you-call-a-boy-pretending-to-be-a-girl-a-girls-name/ 

Related article on biblical sexuality and the complicating factors https://rickthomas.net/biblical-sexuality-and-its-distortions-from-bad-to-good/

There are many educational resources on the power of immoral sex. Please see my resources page for more info. 

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Romans 1:21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.

Hebrews 13:4 (Amplified Bible/Classic) Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.

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My Mother’s Day with Covid

This was a most unusual Mother’s Day for me. About four days previous, I caught Covid. During the night on Saturday, I felt achy and awoke to a beautiful Mother’s Day morning with pain in all my joints! Yes, Covid came and claimed my body. Even though it was a celebrated day on my calendar, I didn’t have the usual delights of that day to enjoy, yet I experienced God’s love in a beautiful way.

I notified a few friends of my situation and they moved into action. Offering love and prayer, Ivermectin and vitamins for my covid protocol, food, anything I wanted! Indeed, with God’s grace through prayer and the proper treatment that I adhered to, everything worked out very well for me. Even with me being immuno-compromised with leukopenia, the abundance of prayers and comfort care went a long way in keeping me secure as I traveled through the first and second trying days. This is my 4th day now, and I feel so blessed to be on the other side of that and strong enough to think and write!

Day 1 and 2 were the worse for me. Extreme body pain everywhere: bones, joints, and muscles… I felt like an injured snake writhing in pain without relief. No escape, even with strong pain meds. But, when I awoke yesterday, I knew it took a turn! I slept almost all day, resting my wrecked body. Upon waking today, I knew I was climbing out of it. Praise God!

I am so thankful for the wonderful friends who cared for me. My neighbor, Gaby, who offered to pick up anything I needed: bought some vitamins I needed and baked and shared with me a wonderful homemade dessert last night. My friend, Doris, one of the best cooks I know, made some mean spicy-flu-chasing-chicken-soup that tasted so good yesterday, and today. And thank you, Bill, as always, for delivering Doris’ remedies, even while sick yourself. And my dear friend, Cathy, who early on help me get my protocol in place and ran over the final ingredient I was lacking at 10 pm on Sunday night! And to the many other gals who texted me asking what they could do or bring. Thank you all so much! You are a beautiful family.

Once again, I have lived through the reality of having a family of Christ-followers to come alongside me in my need to demonstrate the love of God beautifully. Galatians 1:1-10 talks about bearing one another’s burdens and fulfilling the law of Christ, and that is exactly what my sweet friends and church family at Greater Grace Community Church did for me! Your gifts of prayer, supplies, food, and abundance of love carried me through a couple of painful days.

That is my testimony on how something as rotten, painful, and destructive as Covid, could be turned into a blessing in my life, demonstrating God’s goodness amid some limited suffering. It is wonderful to be part of the Family of God. I have brothers and sisters who will, in Jesus’ place, go with me all the way. And I am ever grateful.

Photo Credit: elizabethbruders.com

Moms

Nancy Demary

Mother’s hands are used by God to nurture us until we reach His heavenly embrace… and a mother’s prayers are her most effective weapon.

I’m am thinking of a couple of moms that I want to remember today for different reasons. One is a young Mom who I came to know last Spring through an event at our church. Her prayer request during an alone time together was to have another baby; she already had a young son but had lost other babies by miscarriage. This Mother’s Day, a year later, she has another beautiful boy to love, nurture, and enjoy. This young woman’s heart cry and faith are inspiring, I enjoy seeing how she delights in her gifts from God. (Be inspired by reading Hannah’s story I Samuel 1 and 2:1-26.)

The second Mom that I want to commend, is someone whose son I’ve interacted with regularly. He’s a considerate…

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Is Your Compass set to TRUE North?

Being lost is an awful feeling. I recall after being deposited in Romania to continue working on our adoption, several weeks had passed and I was wanting to venture out on my own to attend an English-speaking church. I did not have a car and I wanted to try and get around alone on the bus system there. I needed to take a bus from the small town where I was staying to the larger city of Suceava nearby. I had not yet developed my language skills enough to function well, but decided to go for it anyway.

It was so nice to attend the Wednesday evening worship service and meet other English-speaking people. After the service, I found my way back to the center of town. I knew the bus number that would take me back to Ițcani where I was staying with our soon-to-be-adopted children and their cousins. The problem was I got on the bus in one location and wasn’t quite sure where to get off because of the route it took back. I was told that some of the buses that head to the Gara (train station) quit for the night and I did not want to walk alone, in the dark all the way from the train station! When I figured I was close enough to my destination and saw that most of the people were getting off near the viaduct, I got off and followed the crowd. As they confidently began to disburse in different directions I began to fear becoming vulnerable, uncertain of which way to go, yet did not want to stop and appear lost. Thankfully, I recognized a storefront that I had been in the week before with cousin Angela and I was able to confidently walk down the street that led to their home.

I shared that story to say the crowd can feel safe for a while but eventually, you have to know for yourself where you’re headed. Without a true inner compass to guide you, there will be times of vulnerability and fear. Our world is only growing more troubled and confused as scripture says it would (2 Timothy 3:1-17) before Christ returns for His Bride, the Church. This is no time to live in confusion or fear. One thing is sure: if we have the confidence that God IS our Father, and the Holy Spirit is living within, we can trust Him to help us in our time of need. I urge you today if you do not yet know God the Father through Jesus Christ His Son (I John 5:20) in a personal way then seek Him while you can. You’ll want to find a church that adheres to scripture, with a shepherd that does not fear others to help you on your journey. Finding a pastor and leaders that can disciple you and that you can get to know in a personal way is so important.

YOUR COMPASS

Id’ like to have you think about your inner-compass, and ask yourself if it is sure, trustworthy, and set to True North. We had an elderly outdoorsman friend who knew all about true north vs. magnetic north. My son used to love to go trekking around the Adirondack Mountains with Mr. Fred. Andre would come home having learned so much about hiking, hunting, and woodsmanship. As we trek through our agitated world, we must learn and determine for ourselves what is Truth (True North), as God our Creator explains it, versus what is relative truth (magnetic North) the way humankind interprets it. They are very different, much more than the 12-degree difference that travelers adjusting their compass for declination must do. We live in a post-Christian society that knows little anymore about the God who created us, and the need to adjust our thinking to His Word in order to rightly find our destination. walking only a few degrees off true north causes major deviation as time passes. Failure to navigate without God’s help is causing so much confusion and division in our world, and in our families.

Unless we align our heart with God’s and center ourselves in the Truth of His Word daily, we will find ourselves in compromised situations wondering what to believe or do. People end up way off course by multiplying the untruth that human wisdom alone provides. The Potter (Isaiah 64:8) who molded and made us is well able to guide us through the maze of these tumultuous days. He is the One who instructs us with the Truth about us, our world and our condition.

DIVISION

Our society has never been so convoluted in its division. Yes, the Civil War (1861-1865) was the fruit of a major division in our country over the issue of slavery. But today we have so many issues that are not clean-cut, discernable and based upon clear criteria, such as the slave trade was. We’ve fallen into a pit of darkness concerning every possible topic one could discuss. There is no longer a sensible view of what is right or wrong. People are so confused over the simplest of matters, such as God creating people male and female (Genesis 1:27). When such an obvious biological fact becomes debatable, we have completely lost our way. Agendas abound… I do not want to be led astray by people feeding me lies, partial truth, or man-made “facts”. I want the whole truth that God offers to us in His Word.

WHERE ARE YOU HEADED?

I watch very little TV. I decided long ago that for me it wasted valuable time that I needed to invest elsewhere. If I were going to be able to think critically, I would need good source information beginning with the Bible. Next, I add to that a variety of reliable sources to learn from. I think it is wise to educate ourselves on what’s going on in the world, but if you allow the news media to solely interpret these events for you, you will be misled by their viewpoint. Because of our fallen nature, all people lie to some degree, whether with intent or not: God alone is True and knows all. Human beings can only offer what they see from their limited view and particular bias. Without the lens of Scripture to help us interpret Truth from falsehood, we are left to hopelessly navigate through lies. You must decide whether your brain will be washed by the world’s thinking or by God’s Word (Romans 12:2). Even with God’s Word to guide us, we are often wrong in our views. This is why humility is so important and a highly regarded ingredient in scripture. Prayer with humility is crucial in finding our way.

WHY All THE FIGHTING?

So why is there such major divisions among us today? All people have agendas, and we are naturally (I Corinthians 2:14) governed by our sinful lusts: greed, power, fame, and self. With the transformation that Christ stepping into the center of our lives brings, we gain the opportunity to renounce these lusts by God’s grace and live another way (Colossians 3:9). We come to know that God holds our future in His Hands (Hebrews 13:5) and we are taught to give rather than hoard things for ourselves and dominate others. We are also encouraged to speak up for the oppressed and for righteous causes (Micah 6:8). While many good people attempt to do this, the heart’s true motivation is eventually seen. Motives and desires are heart issues and our actions reveal what we believe. The clash of thinking, values and all-out war concerning ideas in the public square is because of opposing worldviews; man’s vs. God’s view and how we apply scripture to our lives.

WHERE IS YOUR COMPASS TAKING YOU?

We can find peace and assurance as we set our sights and resting place with God as our dwelling place, both here and in eternity. I desire to follow the inner compass God has placed within my soul. I am serving God by doing His will as He daily reveals it to me. When we fix our compass upon the scripture and are nurtured daily, feeding upon God’s abundance, we find ourselves secure under His care. But this is not the case for those who follow their own way; they call it following your heart or doing your own thing. We are told in the Bible that this will lead to destruction and worse yet, Hell (a place created for the devil and his demons, not mankind) in the end (Revelation 21:8). The decision you make today, will determine your destination, your outcome… what will it be?

Psalm 1 is my favorite, it pretty much sums up the 2 divergent groups and where they land. Think about it and decide: Am I lost… following the crowd of this world? Or, are you found in a secure, flourishing place near God’s stream of living water. He offers you abundant life, will you take it? (See John 10:10).

Psalm 1 says: Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

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