What Can I do?
Climbing that rocky slope in high heels is not easy. I believe a primary reason some never reach out for help is because of the recurring confusion this scenario brings. Because you are already experiencing disrespect, betrayal, and guilt you lack the confidence it takes to move forward.
Many have experienced the pain of attempting to get help only to regret it. The resulting pent up anger and frustration someone in this situation experiences, can make it appear initially (to an inexperienced helper) that you are the problem. We all have sin to deal with, but the dynamics of this betrayal and abuse feeds the frustration. Because of prolonged abuse, some stop fighting and go inward, silent and recluse. For others, the pressure cooker lid blows and it all comes spewing out. Either response, while sinful on your part, is a common reaction to the inability to be allowed to express your feelings and to be respected as an individual.
Gaining clarity and trying to express yourself takes effort and seems overwhelming because you’ve lived in such a confusing world of turmoil. You’ve changed, you don’t like who you are, your sense of normal is gone and it becomes difficult to express yourself. To be sure, Satan is delighting in all of this confusion. The hidden sin not only affects the one choosing sin, but everyone around them. This is why it is so important to get help. Also, even though the initial sin may have ceased, the behavior associated with protecting that secret is now a deep sin issue in the heart.
The feeling of constant instability eventually breaks down our identity in Christ as well. The mind becomes clouded and it seems an overwhelming task to confront the real issue. Along with the biblical mandate of submission and respect for authority, there’s enough confusion to keep many quiet. You may even wonder if you have lost out with God and are abandoned. You’re not. You just need a life-saver tossed to you. You will make it if you hold on to the Life-Giver, Jesus and make the changes needed.
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